I came out as bisexual a little over two years ago with the intent of reminding those I went to church with that they might not always know who they hurt when they express homophobia in Sunday School or from the pulpit. I figured my life would stay pretty much the same, except I could talk about my crushes on women more openly. I'll admit that's mostly been the case.
The fact is, it's not over. It never will be. Unless I never meet another human again, I'll be coming out constantly because the default assumption will be that I'm straight. Especially at church. It can be frustrating (to say the least) to be so invested in an organization that is so often hostile (consciously or not) to queer believers, talks about us as if we're not there, and still tells us that they love and want us.
Even though I've made the decision to stay in my church, I don't want to keep it a secret. I shouldn't have to. I've dated wonderful, worthy, understanding people who haven't been deterred by it. (Guess what? Dating men doesn't make me not bisexual.) And I hope that I can help make it easier for other LGBT+ folks to feel at home in faith communities.
It's worth it to me to stay at this time, and I'm in for the long haul, but it's definitely not that way for everyone. Until it is, here's to those who've come out, and to those who can't right now.
The fact is, it's not over. It never will be. Unless I never meet another human again, I'll be coming out constantly because the default assumption will be that I'm straight. Especially at church. It can be frustrating (to say the least) to be so invested in an organization that is so often hostile (consciously or not) to queer believers, talks about us as if we're not there, and still tells us that they love and want us.
Even though I've made the decision to stay in my church, I don't want to keep it a secret. I shouldn't have to. I've dated wonderful, worthy, understanding people who haven't been deterred by it. (Guess what? Dating men doesn't make me not bisexual.) And I hope that I can help make it easier for other LGBT+ folks to feel at home in faith communities.
It's worth it to me to stay at this time, and I'm in for the long haul, but it's definitely not that way for everyone. Until it is, here's to those who've come out, and to those who can't right now.
Where was I when that happened? Haha I never knew that kudos to you madame!
ReplyDeleteI started coming out to individuals in 2013, but we were both in Deer Creek when I came out publicly. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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