But my problem with feminism comes when it tries to tell me this lie:
You can have it all.
Having it all can mean different things to different women. It can be the balance between career and family. It could be the expectation of finding a fairy-tale romance living a terribly unprincess-like life. (By this I simply mean that she's not being the kind of woman her Prince Charming would want.) At its core, "having it all" is denying your femininity while expecting to reap all of its benefits.
Twenty-first century America is so inundated by this way of thinking that it's clouded our ability to understand literature and history. Works like Romeo and Juliet or The Scarlet Letter are lost on us because we can't wrap our head around the state of women's rights before The Feminine Mystique and just take them for what they are.
Feminism made women rougher around the edges in all the wrong ways. Please, someone tell me how taking on qualities like crudeness and insensitivity and more overt sexuality in an effort to overcome their "oppression" has made women any more free!
I'm glad I have the opportunity to become a lawyer and conquer the world if I want to. But why would I want to when I understand that I can do the most good as a wife and mother? The same goes for all women! We can't have it all and be happy because a big part of happiness as a woman is embracing our God-given feminine callings.
Post-edit: Until the whole wife/mother thing works out, I'm still going to pursue my law career. I hope no one took it that way.
Post-edit: Until the whole wife/mother thing works out, I'm still going to pursue my law career. I hope no one took it that way.
Brooke,
ReplyDeleteI completely completely agree. I think that people want it all and that you ultimately have to figure out your own balance. I too want to be a mom, because I think that is the most important work I will do in my life.
But what am I supposed to do in the mean time? Do you ever get frustrated by this? I think something that will make me a better mom is to be a well-rounded person, but am I expected to drop everything suddenly as soon as I decide to have my first baby? And being a full time Mom can't last forever. Eventually your kids become parents themselves.
Spending my life's work as a mom sounds so right to me, but sitting around and waiting for that to happen sounds so wrong. It seems silly to get so invested in working on something when the plan is to eventually drop it.
I don't know where I am going with this, but I really wanted to respond to your post.
I don't know, becoming more masculine just to prove I can sounds awfully feminist to me.....
ReplyDelete.....not.
Right on Brooke!
ReplyDeleteI love being a female, but I am not feminist. I think that feminism is just a way for women to be snooty and brag about how much better they are then men. Can't we all just accept who we are and be happy? That's what I say.
Love you Cookie,
Maddie
Right on. Well said.
ReplyDeleteI've just gotta say, you're spot on. Women in the church really have it made. You get to be eternal baby machines for your divine husband that you get to share with other women! Afterall, to be eligible for the Celestial Kingdom, men must have at least three wives as mandated by D&C 132. But don't worry, if he doesn't acquire the additional wives he needs in this life they will be provided in the hereafter.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that exciting? I for one can't wait to get my additional wives.
Well said. I was totally going to be a lawyer. Then, I realized one day, no way could I have a herd of children and be a lawyer. I knew I had to make a choice - just the two children and a lawyer or more children. I opted for the kids. Most days I am glad.
ReplyDelete