On Clothing and Style

So I've been reading a lot since I've been home...mostly Vogue, because my subscription gets sent to my parents' house and I had three issues waiting for my return to California. This, of course, has me thinking a lot more about clothes than I normally would. Trends, silhouettes, colors, eco-friendliness...there's really a lot to it. I don't like most of it. I read Vogue for the journalism, the photography, and the perfume samples. Many of the looks I see are as unattractive as they are impractical--and so expensive! No one should ever need to pay $850 for ugly shoes. I live in jeans and t-shirts during the week and love dressing up for Sunday and other special occasions--I'm always on the lookout for new skirts and dresses. I always want to look nice, but I've never paid more than $45 for a dress...and that was the time I bought fabric for a prom dress my grandma sewed.

 No matter what stage of life I'm in or how much money I end up making one day, I probably won't spend much more than that per article of clothing. I've thought a lot lately about the Book of Mormon's description of the proud and wicked. Several times it their "costly apparel" is brought up. The righteous, on the other hand "did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely." Not fashionable. Not icons. Neat and comely. That's I'd like to be. I don't have to pour money into the pockets of fashion houses (which seem more like abstract artists and less like designers of clothing every day) or overhaul my wardrobe every season to look nice.

But this is still a concept I'm working on...in some of dreams I wear Oscar de la Renta head to toe.

On Feminism, Femininity, and Having It All [With Post-Edit]

I am not a feminist. I recoil at the sound of the word and resent the attitude associated with it. Yes, a woman in the workplace should earn just as much as her male co-workers doing the same job. Yes, women are capable of jobs other than teaching or nursing. No, men are not superior to women.

But my problem with feminism comes when it tries to tell me this lie:

You can have it all. 

Having it all can mean different things to different women. It can be the balance between career and family. It could be the expectation of finding a fairy-tale romance living a terribly unprincess-like life. (By this I simply mean that she's not being the kind of woman her Prince Charming would want.) At its core, "having it all" is denying your femininity while expecting to reap all of its benefits. 

Twenty-first century America is so inundated by this way of thinking that it's clouded our ability to understand literature and history. Works like Romeo and Juliet or The Scarlet Letter are lost on us because we can't wrap our head around the state of women's rights before The Feminine Mystique and just take them for what they are.  

Feminism made women rougher around the edges in all the wrong ways. Please, someone tell me how taking on qualities like crudeness and insensitivity and more overt sexuality in an effort to overcome their "oppression" has made women any more free!  

I'm glad I have the opportunity to become a lawyer and conquer the world if I want to. But why would I want to when I understand that I can do the most good as a wife and mother? The same goes for all women! We can't have it all and be happy because a big part of happiness as a woman is embracing our God-given feminine callings.

Post-edit: Until the whole wife/mother thing works out, I'm still going to pursue my law career. I hope no one took it that way.

On Fedoras

Wrong Ways for a Gentleman to Wear a Fedora

Mismatched. Color, style, everything. It just don't work, babe.

With most kinds of facial hair. 

With a general air of douchebaggery or misplaced confidence. The fedora should make sense with the outfit, not be thrown on as a hipster afterthought. 

The Right Way for a Gentleman to Wear a Fedora.

With an outfit that it actually goes with.

The same, but a casual example.

With genuine, hard-earned swagger. 

The Skin Chronicles

I grew up with a firm belief in my own beauty. I remember being asked to sum myself up in two words in 1st, maybe 2nd grade. I chose "smart" and "pretty." When I was nine, I began to break out. I didn't notice. I knew that acne was just what comes with adolescence. My mom bought me a lot of products to try to help, and I thought they worked okay. I knew that acne was just what comes with adolescence. I had no clue why it was such a big deal or why my doctor started prescribing stronger stuff. I really, truly did not understand how bad it was. 

2006

It got to the point where we had to bring out the referral papers and I started seeing a dermatologist. I went on Accutane in late 2006. When my skin started to clear, I realised how bad it had been before. 

2006 (photo by Jill Rich Photography)

2007

Then I  knew I was pretty.

About a six months after my last dose of Accutane, I began to break out again. I went through the same process all over again, complete with another six months of Accutane. It was harder this time around because I knew what I was "supposed" to look like. 

2008

My acne left a little more scarring this time around, and it didn't stay perfect for as long. But it's never gotten as bad since.

2009 

(Dang, I look like my mom here!)

Now I deal with adult acne by actually taking care of myself. (Ya hear that? I'm an adult.) This works pretty well. I'm also going to try a DIY egg white mask I saw on the internet. I don't even know if I'm going to post this. But I do know what even with my less-than-perfect skin, I'm still pretty.

July 2010

Hysteria is a Symptom of Spring Fever.

I had always been under the vague impression that when Spring came, you would wake up one day to a warm green world, a little rain, and that snow just kind of disappeared.

Nope. Thanks for lying to me, California.

This much snow melts slowly and it floods the sidewalk. The grass underneath it is brown and dead.

I've found that Spring is a bit like adolescence. It's totally different than what you expect. Things are changing at a crazy pace and you're not sure what's going to happen next. You start shaving your legs. Under the right conditions, you want to wear as little clothing as possible.

I will admit that I'm being a tad obsessive about Spring, but this Winter is just driving me up a wall! When I left devotional today to find it snowing, I totally lost it. Maybe you heard me.

"Spring starts in March! WHY is it snowing? I hate seasons!" 

"Spring starts March 20," explained Jenna.

"Shhhh. It's March."
 At this point I realized how loud I was when a lady passing by sweetly told us about how when she got married at the end of April and it snowed that day. I quieted down after that. (Yes, I can be a bit of a drama queen...but you haven't seen anything until you've met my youngest brothers!)  I went home, changed into something warmer than a dress, and looked out the window. More snow. I had had my fair share of outrage for the day, so I just tried to ignore it. Thank goodness for the Rexburg blog. It reminds me why I didn't stay home.

Thank Goodness for the First Amendment.

Hey there, Federal Government.

Do you have a problem with my being born?

I think you do. I've had the same birthday for the past 18.5 years. It says so on my passport. It says so on the birth certificate that you never sent back to me when I got my passport.

What the heck kind of birthday do you think I have if I can't file my taxes with it?

You're lucky my political ambitions pretty much end in Sacramento.

"Cubans don't eat cupcakes because cupcakes are happy and communism's not!"

Today you get a lot of sporadic thoughts and images. Have fun!

Some skills need to be constantly cultivated. Otherwise they go away. Like sometimes you're performing in Carnegie Hall one day and a year later you're struggling to sightread an easy alto part.

Today I found myself missing my long red hair. And New York. And Dallin. I like how this picture has all three.

I've also noticed that after I hear barbershop live, I impulsively have to say "Get some!"after every song. I can keep it quiet in a BYU-Idaho setting, but I just know that it's because of Diva Day '09. Good times.

Maddie is the coolest eleven-year-old ever. And I bet Minnesota wishes they still had the Lakers. (Even though Maddie is about nine in this picture and while we were at Staples Center, it was a Clippers game.)

I declared today a Day of Cupcakes. Since we were watching Obsession in my sociology of religion class today, we were supposed to bring food. I made Nutella cupcakes first thing this morning. Then I somehow found myself in The Cocoa Bean getting a Madagascar Vanilla Vanilla cupcake after my last class. Then I made myself stop.

I'd have pictures of all this, but they're all on my phone and I can't send pictures from my phone anymore. (Hey Dad, can we fix that, please?) So you get this one of Noah, Kendra, and Kylinn on top of the fort back home.

I like Butter Pecan ice cream. Except for the pecans.

The title of this post comes from the May 2009 Quote Book. I definitely said it in AP Bio, but I can't remember the context. Do any BiFs remember?

"But I Don't Know Nothin' 'Bout Love."

I've been sick all weekend. I should have known on Friday night when I fell asleep during the movie. I never fall asleep during movies! (Though I was awake long enough to learn that my brown eyes would be about as welcome in Middle Earth as they would be in Hitler's ideal world. EVERYONE in Lord of the Rings has blue eyes.) But it didn't really hit until yesterday. Today I couldn't even go to church. This is more as a disclaimer than anything else. Any of the following could  be the NyQuil talking.

Valentine's isn't for a week, but today I'm going to talk about love. The topic really came to my mind this week when I learned that a very very young friend of mine fancies himself in love. I laughed. Romeo and Juliet were in love at his age, now weren't they?

There's more to being in love than Hollywood or the book publishers would have you think. It's more than butterflies and late night conversations. It takes work and the understanding that the hormones will eventually stop raging. And knowing what to do after that. It's better than butterflies. And it takes time to get it right.

I do know where my very very young friend is coming from. It's just that the one time I really thought I was in love with someone, it didn't turn out well at all. 

Because I can't tell you from experience what being in love really is yet. I've got time to figure that all out.

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

I adore Jane Austen novels. She had great characters, great stories, and killer sense of humor. I've only read four of her six, but I'm getting Mansfield Park and Northanger Abbey as late Christmas gifts for me.

I know sister-brother Chris hates Austen's style and can't understand why I like it so much, but he also enjoys Tolstoy.But I do think I know why we women like Jane Austen so much.

1. The Lifestyle

Women with any money or status in Austen's day had only a few duties: be pretty and accomplished so you can marry a nice rich guy and raise good kids. Sounds good to me!

2. The Men

Mr. Knightley. Colonel Brandon. Edward Ferrars.Mr. Willoughby (who I love despite his many shortcomings.) Captain Wentworth. Mr. Darcy. Need I say more?

3. We can RELATE.

Most women know what it feels like to have a secret they can't tell. Or how it feels to be led on. Or to maybe be in love for the first time. Or to be caught in a triangle. Or to really, truly, hate/love a guy. Or to play matchmaker and have it go wrong.Or to love and lose. So on and so forth. Austen finds a way for all of these to go right for the heroine and her loved ones. It gives us hope.

My favorite? Emma. #3 is a big factor for that. I see a lot of myself in Emma. I should be more like the heroine of my second favorite, Persuasion. Austen herself said that Anne Elliot was "almost too good for [her]." But I learn something about myself, those around me, and people in general when I read Austen novels. I could even sympathize with Fanny at the end of Sense and Sensibility! She's a horrid person, but it must suck to hate both of your sisters-in-law! Alright, I'm done now. I'm going to go read some more.