Expectation≠Reality.

At the beginning of this summer I was anxious about the decisions I had made. I had so desperately wanted to stay in Rexburg to work and live with friends. But after praying, fasting, pleading, and applying for a few jobs, I knew in the depths of my soul that I belonged in California for the summer. And in the family ward, no less! So I did what I knew was right, hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

The other day, I was reading back in my journal when I came across a note I made at a class I attended at Women's Conference: "The plan that the Lord has for me is a lot better than what I could have planned for myself." I laughed. I knew that was right when I wrote it down, but now I really know and feel just how true this is. I planned for one full time job and maybe the occasional outing with friends--like last summer, but without the crushing depression.

What I got was my old part-time job back. Opportunities to serve. An internship at Upland City Hall--I start as soon as they finish my background check. The hardest calling I've ever had. Long and frequent visits with sweet new friends. My life at this point is so beyond what my wildest hopes for it were as I left Rexburg. I'm so blessed. And I've got a feeling that it will only get better.

21

I made a post a few weeks ago about how I'd found a song I could listen to over and over again--"Someone Like You" by Adele. Last night,  the album it came from, 21,  was (finally) available in the United States! Okay, I waited until it was midnight on the east coast and immediately downloaded it. Beth and I are in love  in obsessed with it. In fact, we're listening to it now.

Adele has this rich and soulful voice and great control over it. Sometimes there are little squeaks or growls or she'll edge over her break less than gracefully, but Beth made the point that those imperfections in her voice make it even more beautiful. I'm (maybe) starting to get to the age and maturity where I can actually really understand a love song, and hers are complex and sweet and powerful. They get you thinking about what "having it all" means, what it is you want out of a relationship, waiting on a second chance, heartbreak, and (since we're just out of our teens here,) keeping up with rumors.

Overall, this album is my new favorite. I highly recommend it.

Dinosaur Salad

The other day I found myself really craving chicken caesar salad, but lacking the time or desire to cook chicken at lunchtime. Then I opened the freezer, saw chicken nuggets, and was inspired. Thus Dinosaur Salad was invented. I forgot about it until I had it again today and realized that some things are just too good to keep to yourself. 

Other than that, my Monday was nothing too special. I did almost biff it and die a few times walking in the snow today though, which gave me the idea for today's a capella love song of the day. 

Day #7 Collide by Howie Day

This is only 25 seconds of the song as performed by Freshman Fifteen. I cannot recommend this arrangement highly enough and I think you should front 99¢ for it on iTunes because you will never regret it. 

Day #3 Down by Jay Sean

It's been hard to find good songs arranged and performed well on YouTube. But hey, my pickiness is paying off, right?

 You'll have to click the link to this one. The video is too wide for the column it's supposed to fit in.

"Tap On My Window, Knock On My Door, I Want to Make You Feel Beautiful."

Day #2: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5

This is the only version I listen to. I'm also slightly biased toward this group because they're from Yale (my sister-brother Chris's alma mater). 

February is Lovely.

I love February. Love is in the air, chocolate is on sale, and winter is just that much brighter because of it. I may be chronically single, but I loved Valentine's Day even in high school. The choir would do singing valentine grams and I'd get out of class for the whole day to just sing about love and friendship and be with my beloved choir family. So in honor of that tradition, I'm posting an a cappella love song every day this month. I'm excited. If you're not, that's okay, because it's not your blog.

Song #1 Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley

It's the first Valentine Song any UHS Choir member learns. It's sweet and simple and will always make you smile. This arrangement is by The Staff from University of Florida. Maybe not the best recording, but definitely the best version I could find. 

DONE.

This semester is OVER. 100% DONE. Now I get to go home and relax for a few weeks. Well, not the whole time. Remember when I said I'd never go back to Baskin-Robbins? I'm eating those words now. They're cold and taste like a paycheck. This post really has no point but celebrating the end of a wonderful semester. I had great roommates, a great FHE group, a great ward, and great classes. I'm so grateful for the people that helped me through. Anywho, I'm off to play Robot Unicorn Attack until the bus arrives.

Sweet is the Peace, Indeed.

Here it is. Finals week. Five days of frantic studying, project-doing, test-taking, cleaning--then it's time to go home. Both my roommates and many of my friends won't be returning. (Darn you, Fall-Spring track!) I was kind of panicking about it when I woke up Friday morning. I felt awful and busy and overwhelmed before I even got out of bed. My unworded prayer for direction was answered with an idea--you don't have class today--go to the temple before you study. I, for one, was down.

  (The only picture of the Rexburg Temple I've taken since I've gone to school here--what's wrong with me?)

 

One thing I know for sure I did wrong this semester was that I didn't go to the temple often enough. But returning first thing Friday morning set me straight. I ran into a friend from home (who has one of the sunniest smiles and cutest blogs I ever have seen). I was able to escape my normal distractions and just feel the peace that comes from slowing down and serving those who came before me.

It's A Good Kind of Obsessed, I Promise.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm kind of obsessed with my family. I talk about my brothers all the time and it probably bugs people but I don't care. I think my parents are super cool (even when things like this happen) and call them whenever I have a question about anything. 

But it's not just my immediate family.

This is my great-great grandmother (on my Opa's mother's side) and her children. I love doing family history research and finding out where my family comes from. (Fun fact: The Barkowskis came from Russia!)

But it's not just my ancestors. 

I don't have adequate pictures, but let me put it this way. I'll just use my dad's side of the family as an example. My dad has four older brothers and a sister. Between all them, I have twenty cousins--twelve older, eight younger. Few things make me happier than catching up with my cousins. One of the highlights of my summer was having the longest conversation I've ever had with my cousin Lauren. I ADORED having cousins close by earlier this year, and I love that all my older cousins keep getting married to cool people (some of whom I still need to meet in person)! My newest cousin-to-be Jessica just arrived in the States this week from Brazil and I'm so excited for her and Andrew to get married next month. I'm even considering going to Denver next summer because I'll have cousins there.

I'm going to stop now before I go overboard. My family is rad.
Let's leave it at that.

"Mom? How do I make orange chicken?"

The reply:  

Brooke,

Hopefully mom can get back to you soon on the recipe, but if you are in a hurry, here’s a recipe I made up myself:

I package chicken nuggets from McDonald’s

1 can orange paint from Home Depot

Spread nuggets on cookie sheet.  Shake can and spray each nugget 2 seconds at 4-6 inches away.  Microwave 30 seconds on high.

Love, Dad

 This e-mail is just one example of why my day was awesome. Today I'm thankful for my families (biological, "adopted," and FHE), the fact that my oven works, and that the Lord's answered my prayers. 

In closing, this picture makes me smile.

 

MMMMM Prepositions

I bought new t-shirts on-line the other day. They came this week, and I could not be more pleased with them. My parents think I'm nuts, though. 

What say you, people who have to look at my clothes when I wear them? 

(If you're looking at my clothes elsewhere,  you're kind of a creeper. Get out of my room.)

20 Years and Counting!

Once upon a time, it was Fall 1989 semester at BYU. Chris Taylor and Staci Parks were called to be FHE group leaders. He was a music education major, new to BYU, with a mission to Brazil and a few years at community college under his belt. She was a early childhood education major and totally thought he was a freshman. They became good friends and started dating. By the time the semester was over, they were engaged. 

The night after they were engaged, Staci didn't tell anyone about it. But Luana called the next morning and asked if she had something to tell her. (I'm curious to see if the same thing happens to me when I get engaged...)

They were married April 27, 1990 in the Salt Lake Temple. Yep, twenty years ago today.

In a fairy tale, you'd simply say "and they lived happily ever after." 

Call me biased, but the "happily ever after" deserves some attention too.

1991

1998

2009

Here's to my parents on their anniversary. Congrats, Mom and Dad!

I didn't grow up listening to the Rolling Stones. I'm not a huge fan. But in the first season of House, I heard a reference to the philosopher Jagger: "You can't always get what you want." 

Then the season finale of Glee featured that song and I really fell in love with it. The chorus got me thinking.

"You can't always get what  you want[...] but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need."

It's one of those songs for tough times. Mick has it close. It's more like

"Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another." (D&C 90:24)

But then put those two together. We're not going to get everything we think we want right now, but if we're doing what we should, we'll get not only what we need--we'll get the very best. And who could want more than that?

Charity Never Faileth

Today I read this wonderful post on c jane's blog. I was really struck by this comment of hers:
"I think that energy is created when two women respect and admire each other[...]and what if every woman felt that way towards every other woman? Imagine the energy that would fill this planet. It would cure disease, stop wars and wipe out social ills."

I believe that. I really do. I've felt it at Girls Camp, in Relief Society, in the little book club I was a part of before college.  That energy can do all kinds of good. It could go to serving the needy and the poor in spirit. To teaching children correct principles. I think that this energy is just the way we feel charity.

Last night I was telling a friend from back home about how I had taught Relief Society that morning. I struggled a little to try to explain it to her. She had gathered that it was just womens' Bible Study, but it's so much more! It's about creating and channeling this charitable energy into building the Lord's kingdom on Earth. I love it.

Don't forget...

image via here, but this is what it looked like this morning.

Some things are worth getting up at 5:30, walking up the hill in the bitter cold (in a dress), and breaking the zipper on your coat for. 

Things like this.

Something Finally Gave.

Today was probably the most productive I've been in a long time. I feel like myself again--not like a zombie. The apartment is clean. I made dinner. I'm getting caught up on my homework. I let a stranger give me a hug and take a picture with me. All without makeup on. Huzzah.

I Agree with the NyQuil.

But there are many approaches to the subject. They can be summed up in the work of those who've spent their careers writing about love.

Queen:       

"Seven Seas of Rhye" ("I will destroy any man who dares abuse my trust.")

"Don't Stop Me Now"

"Somebody to Love"  

Intensely physical, defensive, incomplete. Queenly love is for swingers.

Swift:  

"Love Story"

"The Way I Loved You"

"Fifteen"

          This is for the young and hormonally charged. It's all about the turbulence and emotion of firsts. 

The Beatles: 

"I Wanna Hold Your Hand"

"When I'm 64"

"Yesterday" 

  For those who sit around and wonder and overthink every little thing before, during, and after a relationship. Not gonna lie, this is my style.

Nickelback: 

"Far Away" 

"How You Remind Me"

"Someday" 

Chad Kroeger, you poor Canadian. You just don't know what you have until it's gone, do you?

   

You'd need a really good playlist to "get it right."

"The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson

"Lucky" by Jason Mraz & Colbie Callait

"Happy" by NeverShoutNever!

"But I Don't Know Nothin' 'Bout Love."

I've been sick all weekend. I should have known on Friday night when I fell asleep during the movie. I never fall asleep during movies! (Though I was awake long enough to learn that my brown eyes would be about as welcome in Middle Earth as they would be in Hitler's ideal world. EVERYONE in Lord of the Rings has blue eyes.) But it didn't really hit until yesterday. Today I couldn't even go to church. This is more as a disclaimer than anything else. Any of the following could  be the NyQuil talking.

Valentine's isn't for a week, but today I'm going to talk about love. The topic really came to my mind this week when I learned that a very very young friend of mine fancies himself in love. I laughed. Romeo and Juliet were in love at his age, now weren't they?

There's more to being in love than Hollywood or the book publishers would have you think. It's more than butterflies and late night conversations. It takes work and the understanding that the hormones will eventually stop raging. And knowing what to do after that. It's better than butterflies. And it takes time to get it right.

I do know where my very very young friend is coming from. It's just that the one time I really thought I was in love with someone, it didn't turn out well at all. 

Because I can't tell you from experience what being in love really is yet. I've got time to figure that all out.