beep beep beep beep YEAH

Oh hi there! I haven't seen you here in a while! I've been busy. And not with very many things that were too exciting. So I'll be making smaller posts about what I have been doing, but first let me get an important one out of the way: I bought a car!

My cousin and her family recently moved out of the country, so they were kind enough to give me a generous deal on their 1995 Taurus. I'm going to pick it up in Utah on my way to school in September. I'm really excited about being a bit more independent!

An Ode to Things

I know that "the most important things in life aren't things," but that doesn't stop me from being grateful for and excited about a few things now and again. Right now those things are:

• Sweatpants.  I love dressing up for work, but starting my day early takes its toll and I'm always glad to be able to come home and effectively put on pajamas. 
• Earplugs. Now I can more easily ignore everyone else's video games and shouting and Lost marathons so that I can get homework and sleeping done.
• Smash Books. It's a nice little way to get my creative juices flowing as I ease back into making things again.
• The car I'll be buying this month--a green 1995 Ford Taurus. (I'll be paying for it this month, but will pick it up in Utah on my way to school this fall.)
• The  the new Heber J. Grant scholarship that will help with my tuition for my last three semesters!
• My books. I have lots and have decided that I'd probably rather re-read my old stuff for the next little while rather than looking for old stuff. I haven't read many of my books since high school (so it doesn't count). 
• Spotify. It saves me so much money and disc space. 
• Gifs. There is seriously one for every situation.





































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Blessings in Disguise--Three Day Weekend Edition

The plan was nearly perfect. I was going to leave late Friday night for the three-day weekend in Utah with the Morgans. While I was there, I was going to visit with long-lost friends Lisa and Virginia. Thursday night I call my ride to confirm when we were leaving and learned that I didn't have a ride anymore. For some reason she thought I wasn't coming and had filled up her car without me. I had made obligations that kept me in Rexburg until 6pm, and no one else was leaving that late. I would have to stay in town for the weekend. I was crushed.

I did what I always do when crisis strikes--called my mom. I wished I had a car of my own so that things like this wouldn't happen. I hate depending on other people to get places. But here's the rub--I'm terrible with money and broke to boot. "I'll save up for a car this summer!" I said. "I'll be so much better with my money!" "Good luck with that," said Mom. But that didn't get me to the Morgans this weekend.

But it wasn't so terrible. I got to sleep in, go shopping (probably a bad idea for the day after my aforementioned resolution), and relax on Saturday. Sunday I got a new calling (Relief Society Meeting Coordinator) and went to the Family History class.
Today I cleaned, did laundry, got tomorrow's homework done, and ran a mile. As I type this I'm avoiding doing my science homework that's due on Wednesday. (I cannot make these numbers work!) I'm ahead of schedule with my homework! When has that ever happened? I also cancelled my beloved subscriptions to Birchbox, Spotify, and Ancestry so that I can stop being poor and maybe someday have something to drive.

(This is my "my roommate just got off a 12-hour shift and I'm trying to get stuff done without waking her up" look. Impressive, right?)

There will be other weekends this semester. It's been too long since I've been to visit the Morgans and I miss them terribly. But in the end, I'm kind of glad that I had this one to be stuck in Idaho and put my life back together a little bit. 

Accomplishments of Fall Semester (So Far)

• I got a Pell Grant!
• Chelsea and I watched all six seasons (or series, as they call them in Britain) of Doctor Who in about two months. 
• I went to the BYU Law Fair and learned that I can earn a JD and a MPA at the same time. Tempting.
• I secured more convenient housing for next semester.
• I'm reading for pleasure again...and bought more new books than I should be comfortable reading. (SIX.)
• I really like all my classes. (Sometimes it's a statement, sometimes it's a reminder.)

• I'm taking pictures I can be proud of. Like this one!
• The side effects of my medicine (read: constant nausea and occasional lightheadedness) haven't killed me yet. 
• I'm a Relief Society teacher, which is my very favorite calling.
• I was a glam zombie.
• Rachel and I arranged a marriage between my brother John and her sister Sari. Just don't tell them, okay?
• I dropped my phone in milk last week. And I can still use it!

Fine, I'm Going to Complain A Little.

This week was STRESSFUL, complete with drama, dented cars, and 45 hours of work between two jobs. It's been a good weekend, but I'm still exhausted and aching. So I found little ways to keep myself together, because this summer is starting to feel like last summer, and that is the last thing I want in all the world. 

I bought myself sunflowers because they were on sale.

A little bit of ibuprofen. 

Too much TV.

A trip to Victoria Gardens with our exchange students.

Lots and lots of prayer. That's the main one right there, because Heaven knows that I haven't yet learned how to handle stress well, and I cannot do it by myself. 

And to make up for the complaints, I will count my blessings.

No one was hurt in the car accident.

I only cried once, and that was just over a false alarm.

I still have family and friends who love me.

HelloGiggles exists.

I bought my textbooks and I want to read them this summer to make Fall semester easier.

I only work 39 hours this week, and not at Baskin-Robbins until Wednesday. 

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY ON FRIDAY.

Holy Stolen Thunder, Batman!

So Gigi pretty much wrote the post I had wanted to today (suffice it to say that I also felt super productive today), so I'll let her have it, and I encourage you to just generally read her blog because she's awesome.

So what shall I write about today?

Noah's soccer game? No, I'll hack Mom's blog and put it there.

Our excursion to the Huntington? Fine,  you get one picture. I'm not terribly happy with most of them.

How about my new calling then? Yes, that will do. I'm the Primary pianist in my ward now. Primary is the Sunday School for kids 4-11, and they spend a certain amount of every Sunday with "singing time." The chorister used to be one of my Young Women leaders, so we already know how to work with each other.

But here's the thing. I took my last piano lesson at 15 and I can hardly accompany myself sometimes.

And my first day was Mother's Day, when the kids sang in sacrament meeting (read: I had to play in front of everyone). Luckily, I had time to put some work into it and the Lord qualifies those He calls. My playing wasn't a disaster. Not fabulous, but not a disaster either. Now I have motivation to achieve the goal I made at the beginning of the summer to get good at piano again. Funny how things work that way.

You Have An Adopted Liver, Honey.*

I went incognito today with some pink lipstick. I like how it looked. 

It's been a crazy, semi-nocturnal, but still somehow wonderful and productive week. 

And then it started raining tonight. Pouring down catch-a-cold, melt-the-snow, pretty-sounding rain. Did I start jumping up and down and screaming with joy? Did immediately look for an excuse to leave the apartment?

*This was actually said in a real conversation I had this week.

Lists and Letters

Things I Hate, but Have a Morbid Fascination With

1. Jersey Shore

2. Snow

3. Economics 

Dear Cadbury,
     I will be eternally grateful for your having created the Caramello. Keep up the good work.
                         Love, Brooke

Reasons I Think the Federal Government Hates Me.

1. I never got my birth certificate back when I got my passport.

2. The Social Security Office has my birthday wrong.

Dear Summertime,
      I love, miss, and desperately need you.
                              Love, Brooke

Awesome Things I Did This Week

1.  Read de Tocqueville

2. Learned John Lennon's middle name was Winston

3. Made beautiful and delicious cookies.

4. Listened to Adele almost nonstop.

"How do you fight LOVE?"

A Capella Love Song of the Day #8 Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

Today I'm in an unusually good mood.

Maybe because I found this at the grocery store and I can make my favorite vegetarian tortellini soup like I do every Valentine's Day. 

Or maybe because my morning class is cancelled tomorrow.

Or maybe because I got a phone call from two of my favorite people.

(photo by Jill Rich Photography)

Okay, it's probably all of these, but most of all because of the knowledge I have that Christ lives and that to follow Him is to have a secure hope for the future. 

(The Master's Touch by Greg Olsen)

Weekend Edition: Nearer, My God, to Thee
I was busy having a life for once this weekend, so I didn't post songs. Since it's the Sabbath, though, I think I'll put up one of my favorite hymns. (Still a capella, of course.)

In other news, it's Ronald Reagan's 100th Birthday.

While it would be wonderful to have someone like him run America again, it's a tough thing to approach. Do it right, and you've accomplished a miracle. Do it wrong and you've got the Tea Party.

 (There was a float dedicated to him at this year's Rose Parade.)

What's the Word for When You're Opinionated in a Good Way?

I'm taking a journalism class this semester. Today we had a discussion about the core principles of what defines journalism. We briefly talked about how journalists should keep their opinions to themselves, and some don't even vote to try to stay unbiased. As a political science major, that hurt my soul a little bit. 

I have a lot of opinions and I enjoy discussing and sharing them. I could more easily become a Catholic nun than keep them to myself as part of a full-time job. It made me kind of glad that it's only a cluster (half a minor), but this will definitely be my most challenging class this semester. As much as I like it, I have a hard enough time writing in general, but long impartial news stories? It's a daunting task and I'm terrified of it. 

But I suppose college is about stepping outside your comfort zone to grow and stretch and become better at something you enjoy. So I will, for these few classes, set aside my tendency to make quick judgement calls and unhealthy desire to always be right for the sake of journalistic integrity. Then I can go back to my major and argue ideology and policy to my little heart's content. 

A Great Day at BYU-Idaho.

I finally figured out what career I want to pursue.

So allow me to introduce myself. 

(I was blonde when this picture was taken.)

Brooke Taylor, future attorney at law. When I grow up, I'm going to get the bad guys sent to jail. 

After a good french class (I'm finally beginning to remember everything I had forgotten) and an incredible devotional, I broke my no-sweets resolution by getting cupcakes with Rachel. Our moms were best friends in college and we were each other's first friends. When she started school here last semester, it was the closest we'd lived to each other since we were two, so she gets to be the exception to my avoidance of refined sugar. And I just LOVE every time we get together. She's sweet and straightforward and makes me want to be a better person. (Sorry, guys, she's also taken.) 

Chivalry is Alive...and Adorable.

Yesterday I needed groceries. Noelle and I walked to Broulim's together, but she had to take off for class before I had everything I needed (my list was a tad longer than hers). So I was left to carry three bags, two baguettes, and a gallon of milk by myself. The icing on this cake--I forgot my gloves. I felt really silly walking home in the cold. Partway down the street I hear someone clearing their throat. I step to the side and a kid in headphones zooms past me to get to campus. I guess I was walking kind of slow trying not to drop all my food in the dirty snow. My fingers hurt from the cold and the bag with my yogurt and steak sauce was starting to rip. At the top of my street, I ran into a gentleman who offered to help. I was too cold and flustered to say more than "yes. Thank you! What's your name?" I think his name was Tyler, but he saved me from dying and/or having a mental breakdown walking home from Broulim's, and I'm thankful that he did that for me.

Christmas Vacation 2010

 We started Christmas off right--by going to Disneyland and getting annual passes! My parents and I surprised Jared & Noah. It was pouring down rain and we left early, but it was still fun and we're looking forward to going again and again and again (in better weather.) We took this picture in the parking structure.

 Christmas Eve brought the annual California Taylor family Christmas Pageant. It's always tough to cast. No one wants to be a wise man. 

They want to be sheep.

 Or the donkey.

Or the hay in the manger.

 The most coveted part, is of course, the innkeeper.

 But we always end up with a Mary and a Joseph. It's a cute tradition.

 We always get jammies for Christmas. Yep. Those are black and white camo print footie pajamas. They're awesome. Mine are way too big. 

 We got an ice cream maker! I'm so looking forward to using it. All the experiments we did before I left were the best I've had in a long time. And I was working at Baskin-Robbins.

It's probably because we're not just relying on the recipes that came with the machine...

The older kids all got iTunes cards in our stockings, so I got Paul Anka's album Rock Swings. It's big hits from the 80s and 90s in a swing style. It includes one of the best covers of Wonderwall I'm going to find. (Thanks for the tip, Rachel!)



Other non-holiday activities of mine included work, spending the night with my good friend Jenny, a rediscovery of my cat allergy, shopping and dinner with my favorite Yalie, and accidentally seeing a rated-R movie. (I was sure it was PG-13 at the time, I promise!)

Sweet is the Peace, Indeed.

Here it is. Finals week. Five days of frantic studying, project-doing, test-taking, cleaning--then it's time to go home. Both my roommates and many of my friends won't be returning. (Darn you, Fall-Spring track!) I was kind of panicking about it when I woke up Friday morning. I felt awful and busy and overwhelmed before I even got out of bed. My unworded prayer for direction was answered with an idea--you don't have class today--go to the temple before you study. I, for one, was down.

  (The only picture of the Rexburg Temple I've taken since I've gone to school here--what's wrong with me?)

 

One thing I know for sure I did wrong this semester was that I didn't go to the temple often enough. But returning first thing Friday morning set me straight. I ran into a friend from home (who has one of the sunniest smiles and cutest blogs I ever have seen). I was able to escape my normal distractions and just feel the peace that comes from slowing down and serving those who came before me.

Long Live the "Vote for Change" shirt worn ironically.

Because of the awful weather, I didn't drive back to Rexburg. I flew! The flight was fine, but the shuttle from SLC broke down. It was awful. I pulled out the only time-passer in my bag whose batteries wouldn't die--my scriptures. I laughed when I got to D&C 121:10-- "Thou art not yet as Job." I felt better then. I did skip my morning class, though.

My tripod and camera remote are here! So despite how I looked today, I HAD to test it out. Chelsea's in this picture giving me a weird look, but I cropped her out on her request.

It's A Good Kind of Obsessed, I Promise.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm kind of obsessed with my family. I talk about my brothers all the time and it probably bugs people but I don't care. I think my parents are super cool (even when things like this happen) and call them whenever I have a question about anything. 

But it's not just my immediate family.

This is my great-great grandmother (on my Opa's mother's side) and her children. I love doing family history research and finding out where my family comes from. (Fun fact: The Barkowskis came from Russia!)

But it's not just my ancestors. 

I don't have adequate pictures, but let me put it this way. I'll just use my dad's side of the family as an example. My dad has four older brothers and a sister. Between all them, I have twenty cousins--twelve older, eight younger. Few things make me happier than catching up with my cousins. One of the highlights of my summer was having the longest conversation I've ever had with my cousin Lauren. I ADORED having cousins close by earlier this year, and I love that all my older cousins keep getting married to cool people (some of whom I still need to meet in person)! My newest cousin-to-be Jessica just arrived in the States this week from Brazil and I'm so excited for her and Andrew to get married next month. I'm even considering going to Denver next summer because I'll have cousins there.

I'm going to stop now before I go overboard. My family is rad.
Let's leave it at that.

"Mom? How do I make orange chicken?"

The reply:  

Brooke,

Hopefully mom can get back to you soon on the recipe, but if you are in a hurry, here’s a recipe I made up myself:

I package chicken nuggets from McDonald’s

1 can orange paint from Home Depot

Spread nuggets on cookie sheet.  Shake can and spray each nugget 2 seconds at 4-6 inches away.  Microwave 30 seconds on high.

Love, Dad

 This e-mail is just one example of why my day was awesome. Today I'm thankful for my families (biological, "adopted," and FHE), the fact that my oven works, and that the Lord's answered my prayers. 

In closing, this picture makes me smile.

 

Okay, I haven't been completely honest about my summer.

I loved my job. I really did. But spending so much time by myself and my inability to handle stress  made me feel awful. I was doing great at work, but I still felt like I was failing, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong or how to fix it. That's when I got my sunburn. It didn't help the depression. Nope. Made it worse. I got behind and my body couldn't keep up with my brain or my to-do list. and my stress kept going up and up. It was a minor miracle I got out of bed and went to work every morning. A bigger one when I got caught up or made it through the day without crying. I moved back in with my parents about a month after the scary thoughts started.  But I didn't feel any better. I started getting up earlier to work longer hours, but I could never keep up. I was still alone. I stopped eating. My work got worse and the pressure kept building. I never told anyone but my dad what was really going on because I was ashamed. I thought it was pathetic that I couldn't keep up because I was stressed and sad. I thought that I should have been stronger than that, you know? I still don't think it's a good excuse.

Now that my workweek is under 50 hours and I have roommates again, I'm doing a lot better. I really am.  And you know? This summer really was a blessing to me. I earned enough money to pay for my own school this semester. I made good friends in an amazing ward. I got to know my Savior better. Hopefully, I grew up a little bit.

More Lists

Mistakes I've Made So Far Today

• Sleeping in.

• Trying to uninstall/reinstall Chrome, hoping it would solve all the problems I've been having with it.

•  Not wearing gloves.

• Going to the Crossroads at 12:30.

Things I'd Rather Be Doing (As opposed to what I am doing)

• Reading. I've got Green Lantern comics, Jesus the Christ, Mansfield Park waiting for me at home. (I have reading to do for American Foundations and International Relations.)

• Sitting on the couch with a blanket and hot herb tea, watching the lovely gray day. (I'm doing homework in the library.)
• Family history research--I think I've finally found the elusive Barkowskis. (I'm "actively listening" and writing down what I hear on the radio for a mini-project.)
• Going to California. (It's supposed to snow tomorrow.)

Things I Should Be Doing (And Why)

• Not complaining. (I go to an awesome school, I have good teachers, I have friends and roommates that love me, I have a family who supports me, the temple's a ten minute walk away, and I live in the United States of America. Oh, and there's brownie batter waiting for me at home.)
• Getting back to work (I have a bit to do today.)