"Increase More and More"

I'm taking my last college religion class this semester. I hate hate hate online classes, but take a look at my schedule for this semester.

I couldn't mess with a schedule like that. It's too perfect.

Anyway, the class covers the New Testament from Acts through Revelations. Part of my assignments for each week allows me to blog about our readings. (This was actually due Saturday, but I'll do better in future weeks.)

Scattered throughout both of his epistles to the Thessalonians, Paul gave members of the early church a list of attributes for them to improve on. These are the ones I found.

• Increase in love toward each other and their community. He noted that they already great at it, but they could increase more and more. (1 Thess. 3:12, 4:9-10)
• Sexual purity (1 Thess. 4:3-5)
• Self-sufficiency and hard work(1 Thess. 4:11)
• Service to the needy (1 Thess. 4:12)
• Sobriety as an attitude (1 Thess 5:8)
• Patience (1 Thess 5:14)
• Avoiding negative influences (2 Thess. 5:6)

I could definitely improve in some of these, and my assignment requires that I discuss that a bit.

• I could certainly be more patient, with myself and with those I'm close to. I'm also terrified to pray for patience because maybe then I'd be given something to really be patient about. Sometimes, though, I think I already have the tools I need to be patient, I just forget to use them. Maybe I could ask for help remembering what they are instead. 
• There are 74 days left until graduation. I have worked so hard and I am too close to the end to give up now. You'd be surprised how fleeting a motivator that is. I need help going full steam ahead, but I also know some habits I could develop to continue to work hard and keep as I start my first post-grad "real world" job.
• Pretty much everything is lacking somehow while in college. I can do better noticing and filling some of the needs of those around me: a ride to the store, a hug, helping a study session I might not need to have, etc.

The Austen Project

In mid-March, a bright spot of unexpected happiness and came into my life in the form of a YouTube channel. Lizzie Bennet Diaries is a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice and I watched the majority of its 100 episodes in one sitting. I'm an enormous fan of Jane Austen and read all of her books before I was 21--maybe before I was 20. But I noticed something in LBD I hadn't in my last reading of P&P. Lizzie was, well, annoying. A little mean.  Just very--not the model of an Elizabeth (a name I hold in ridiculous esteem) she always had been to me. And then it occurred to me--I was a teenager when I last read it. Did I read it right? Have I ever really read and understood a Jane Austen book?  The answer is, I don't really know. So I'm being more thorough this time. Well, specifically with the heroines. Jane Austen was very good at creating complex characters. So I'm looking in exacting detail at what they do and say, and what that means about who they are. Why do the women who read Jane Austen books relate to these made-up girls from 200 years ago? That's what I'm hoping to find out.

I decided to start with Sense and Sensibility because it's my favorite (tied with Northanger Abbey). Or was. We'll see. It's taken me almost two months to get through the first 20 chapters (of 50) because I keep getting mad at Marianne. I always thought I "was a Marianne," but thankfully, so far, I'm finding that's not true. We just both  made really poor dating choices as teenagers.

When I've finished, I'm not sure how I'll process all the data I'll compile. (Any of my friends studying Literature or English want to help me out?) Either way, I'm glad to have a somewhat academic challenge on my own terms and in my own time (though I would like to finish by the end of the summer).

So, friends, is this project even worth doing? Any suggestions on how to do it better? Who are your favorite Austen heroines?

Summer Schemes

Finals Fortnight is coming along nicely. I have rides to Utah this weekend and home next week! The end is in sight, and I'm already scheming what I'll do this summer (besides working and interning and 3 online classes).

-Adventures in the city. Jazz clubs with Dallin, the Getty with Mom, temple trips with Claremont buddies, wandering in awe with Liz.

-Reading. There is so many good books I haven't read! Luckily, City Hall is right across from the public library. (Any suggestions?)

-Sewing. Well, not exactly. I recently took up cross stitching and made this for a friend. I enjoy it and want to do more!

-Come up with a rockin' way to celebrate my 21st birthday, even though it's on a Sunday this year.

-I might even finish what I started circa 1997--finally learn how to ride a bike. I have up after I broke my arm (three years after this picture.)

That will be probably more than I'll have time for. Too bad. I'm going to do them anyway.

Life Planning and the Accompanying Stress

image is mine.

When I was a senior in high school, I wasn't too worried about college and the whole process of applying and getting in.  I knew I wanted to go to a church school and just did what it took to go to one. Meanwhile, my friends stressed out, did tons of research, and prepared for the SAT as if their citizenship depended on it.

Now I understand.


If all goes according to plan, I'll graduate from BYU-Idaho in July 2013. That's 16 months away. I want to get my MPA after that--but where? Now I'm doing what my peers did looking for an undergrad program--trying to figure out where I'd like to live and study, where the good programs are, and how much each place would cost. I've also learned that I need to start studying for the GRE three months ago.

But as I've looked around, I've been excited. I know any program will be expensive, but I'm willing to do what it takes to further my education. And I'm still working on where to apply, but here's my short list.

• BYU
• La Verne
• MAYBE Loyola New Orleans. Their MPA program is also a JD program.
• LSU (added post-publishing, thanks to Sister Sant)
• Memphis 
• (If I go east, I have to go South. I'm not sure why.)
• UCI
• Cal State Fullerton

But who knows. Maybe I'll change my mind again and that will open a whole new range of options.

And that's just what's coming up later. What do I even do about the news that my internship, while still happening, will not be paid, and that any job I get while doing my internship will have to be approved by my teacher? And then how do I make time (or pay for) the 10 credits of online classes I'll be taking this summer? 

Now here's the cool part.

Yesterday as I began to process all of this information and worry about it, I opened up my scriptures to where my bookmark would have me read next--the Liberty Jail sections of Doctrine & Covenants. (For those not acquainted with LDS church history or scripture, look here.) Let me tell you, reading those words brought comfort and a reassurance that everything will work out somehow.

And it is going to be fantastic.

Blessings in Disguise--Three Day Weekend Edition

The plan was nearly perfect. I was going to leave late Friday night for the three-day weekend in Utah with the Morgans. While I was there, I was going to visit with long-lost friends Lisa and Virginia. Thursday night I call my ride to confirm when we were leaving and learned that I didn't have a ride anymore. For some reason she thought I wasn't coming and had filled up her car without me. I had made obligations that kept me in Rexburg until 6pm, and no one else was leaving that late. I would have to stay in town for the weekend. I was crushed.

I did what I always do when crisis strikes--called my mom. I wished I had a car of my own so that things like this wouldn't happen. I hate depending on other people to get places. But here's the rub--I'm terrible with money and broke to boot. "I'll save up for a car this summer!" I said. "I'll be so much better with my money!" "Good luck with that," said Mom. But that didn't get me to the Morgans this weekend.

But it wasn't so terrible. I got to sleep in, go shopping (probably a bad idea for the day after my aforementioned resolution), and relax on Saturday. Sunday I got a new calling (Relief Society Meeting Coordinator) and went to the Family History class.
Today I cleaned, did laundry, got tomorrow's homework done, and ran a mile. As I type this I'm avoiding doing my science homework that's due on Wednesday. (I cannot make these numbers work!) I'm ahead of schedule with my homework! When has that ever happened? I also cancelled my beloved subscriptions to Birchbox, Spotify, and Ancestry so that I can stop being poor and maybe someday have something to drive.

(This is my "my roommate just got off a 12-hour shift and I'm trying to get stuff done without waking her up" look. Impressive, right?)

There will be other weekends this semester. It's been too long since I've been to visit the Morgans and I miss them terribly. But in the end, I'm kind of glad that I had this one to be stuck in Idaho and put my life back together a little bit. 

Fixing It

July was a lot of hard work and hard times. While none of the actual stressors are going to change much this month, I will.

I am going to put my life back together and I will return to Rexburg a happier person than I am right now.

Part of my plan is to record something little every day to mark my progress. A lot of the things I'll be doing at first are probably no-brainers, but I've got to start somewhere to reign in my stress and fight my depression.

Day One: Set Goals.


I'm done at City Hall on the 25th and at Baskin-Robbins on the 30th. That means four more 6-day workweeks (most likely). But I'm not just going to survive them. I will thrive! I will enjoy them! I don't always believe it, but I know I deserve to be happy, so I will pursue it.

Expectation≠Reality.

At the beginning of this summer I was anxious about the decisions I had made. I had so desperately wanted to stay in Rexburg to work and live with friends. But after praying, fasting, pleading, and applying for a few jobs, I knew in the depths of my soul that I belonged in California for the summer. And in the family ward, no less! So I did what I knew was right, hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

The other day, I was reading back in my journal when I came across a note I made at a class I attended at Women's Conference: "The plan that the Lord has for me is a lot better than what I could have planned for myself." I laughed. I knew that was right when I wrote it down, but now I really know and feel just how true this is. I planned for one full time job and maybe the occasional outing with friends--like last summer, but without the crushing depression.

What I got was my old part-time job back. Opportunities to serve. An internship at Upland City Hall--I start as soon as they finish my background check. The hardest calling I've ever had. Long and frequent visits with sweet new friends. My life at this point is so beyond what my wildest hopes for it were as I left Rexburg. I'm so blessed. And I've got a feeling that it will only get better.

Today's To-Do List

(Things that actually got done are crossed out)

• Go to the bank
• Clean
• Write letters
• Practice
• laundry
• work out
• Edit photos

What Actually Got Done Today

(In addition to what I had planned)

• Weeded what will soon become the garden below (photo below)
• FHE in Claremont with good friends
• Honestly, lots of video games. I've never finished a full game of Pokémon and I intend to get all the way through FireRed this summer.
• Invented a disease called Taylor-Harmon-Whitehead Syndrome, which is best described as the unberable mutual missingness that occurs when there's an imbalance of Taylors, Harmons, and Whiteheads in Rexburg. (The proper ratio is 1:2:3, and is currently 0:2:3. So not cool.)  One day I'll be able to write a post and not mention how much I miss my roommates, I promise!

Ah, well. There's always tomorrow.

It's Clearly A Muttation, Sent By the Capitol to Destroy Me.

It's around four in the morning. I can't sleep. I'm afraid to leave my room even though I'm thirsty. But I don't care. I just finished Mockingjay. I read the entire Hunger Games trilogy in under 72 hours. As much as I've heard others complain about it, I'm more than satisfied with how it ended. I feel accomplished.

But the real story here is why I'm terrified to leave. Not until morning, anyway.

There was a mosquito in my room. 

I can handle spiders and other creepy crawlies, but I hate hate HATE mosquitos.  It was huge, which means it's probably a mosquito-eater, and my mom says those are harmless. I still don't trust it. Can't. I'm wearing shorts tonight and have no desire to wear any additional clothing.

 My plan to get rid of it was brilliant--at least to me, and I've devoted the last three days to a stack of almost magnetic novels, ignoring most impulses to eat and sleep. I waited until the vile thing got away from the door. This took some time. I tried to will it back to hell with angry words, but that only drove it to the light switch. OhgoshIhadtotouchthat.

Soon it went to the ceiling and I made a dash for it, turning off the light behind me. The hall light went on, then the dining room, hoping that the darkness in my room and the light outside of it would draw the thing out. There was no sign of it in the hall, but a quick sweep of my room shows it wasn't there. I sat down in front of the computer and start to turn on a podcast--I'm a few days behind on the news. All of a sudden, the mosquito flew out from under the computer and into my face. I screamed and ran into the hall. My parents were angry when I told them that the noise had been because of a mosquito, but they were too tired to do anything but go back to bed.

Then I saw it. I got it into the hall. I ran back into my room and locked the door behind me. But if I leave, it  might come back in.

No, the books haven't made me distraught. Or paranoid. Not at all. I just need a back massage...okay, or maybe some sleep.

Oh no. There's something buzzing in here.

My California Adventure

I'm home for the summer! I'm back in my own room! I don't have to buy my own food for a while! Yay!

Okay, hopefully I've got that out of my system enough to tell you a story.

Today my mom asked if I wanted to come to Michael's with her and Jared and Noah. We got in the car, hopped onto the freeway, and instead of getting off on Mountain like we were supposed to, we kept going. "Surprise! We're going to Disneyland!"

I had planned on surprising my brothers with a Disneyland trip sometime in the next few weeks, and I had no idea that they would do it to me!

We spent more time in California Adventure tonight than in Disneyland. It was a beautiful night and we had a blast. I was thinking about it on the way home, and I'd like for this summer to be my own "California Adventure." Every time I leave LA it's harder because I've come to love the area even more. I don't want to miss out on the treasures that I live so close to! So here for public consumption, is my Spring/Summer 2011 To-Do List:

• Visit the Getty Center
• Disneyland with friends!
• Go with friends to Downtown LA and/or Hollywood 
• Attend the LA temple as often as possible
• Go to the beach more than twice like I did last summer
• (All of the above can also be considered a To-Photograph List as well.)
• Get good at piano again (not LA related, necessarily, but still an appropriate to-do)
• Start making money with photography (You can help me out with that, but that's another post for another day.)

A Great Day at BYU-Idaho.

I finally figured out what career I want to pursue.

So allow me to introduce myself. 

(I was blonde when this picture was taken.)

Brooke Taylor, future attorney at law. When I grow up, I'm going to get the bad guys sent to jail. 

After a good french class (I'm finally beginning to remember everything I had forgotten) and an incredible devotional, I broke my no-sweets resolution by getting cupcakes with Rachel. Our moms were best friends in college and we were each other's first friends. When she started school here last semester, it was the closest we'd lived to each other since we were two, so she gets to be the exception to my avoidance of refined sugar. And I just LOVE every time we get together. She's sweet and straightforward and makes me want to be a better person. (Sorry, guys, she's also taken.) 

Resolve, v. To decide firmly on a course of action

I have the sweet tooth from Hell. I love sweets and can eat them all day long. Occasionally I do. Unfortunately, I can't live that way forever without major health repercussions. So for one of my semester resolutions (It feels like a new year every 3 months anyway with my schedule, so might as well), I'm severely cutting down on the sweets. At first I was going to go cold turkey with no sweets, but that does not work in the BYU-Idaho bubble, where love is expressed with baked goods. So I won't buy or bake them. I had a cookie last night at my friend's scrub ceremony, but other than that, I've been good. No massive withdrawals or uncontrollable cravings. Just controllable cravings that were satisfied with fruit or pomegranate tea with honey in it. The hope is that I'll have more spending money and a reduced chance of getting diabetes. Good luck to the rest of you with your resolutions!

The Best Laid Plans of Mice, You Know...

Remember this list? This great list of things I wanted to do this summer? Out of the nine specifics, I've done three. Only three more are plausible. (Seriously, $15 just to PARK at Disneyland? No thanks.) But I believe I've done generally awesome things, too.

picture by jill rich

Like get to know these fabulous ladies better. You guys all know Seraphine by now, but her mom, Sabrina, has become a really close friend. We can get together and just talk for hours on end. I don't know how I would have survived the summer without her. 

Ohmygoodnessilovethepeopleinmywardtheyaresoawesome. 'Nough said.

Running a business almost on my own has been one of the hardest and most stressful things of my life. But I've learned a lot from it and it's paying for school.

In short, I have three weeks left of my summer. I'm going to make an adventure of it. 

Plans

Things I want to do this summer:

1. Explore the Village with just a camera (and maybe a good friend. Volunteers?)
2. BiF Prom
3. Lady BiF Tea Party
4. Make candied bacon ice cream. (Minus the rum.)
5. Learn to sew (Making your own clothes makes Modesty Quests much easier!)
6. Go to the beach
7. Disneyland
8. Do something fun for my 19th birthday
9. Finish reading Middlemarch
10. Awesome things in general. Any suggestions?

But You Can't Always Plan These Things, Can You?

Sometimes I'm just absolutely sure that "Plan B" is just a shortened form of "Plan Brooke."

I've been Plan B a few times too many. I sort of understand. It's kind of logical to have a Plan B. I have a Plan C. (It was C's idea.) But it's no fun to be Plan B, especially when Plan A is hanging by a thread one day and working out just great the next.

Almost exactly a year ago I was on a charter bus from Newark to New York City when I learned that I wasn't even anywhere near Plan B status to someone I cared a lot about. To him, I was dirt. Maybe it had been different before, but he had changed. When we got to the city, right at what was probably the most vulnerable moment of my life, someone else pulled me from the depths of heartbreak and an inability to ice skate. It doesn't really matter whether I was Plan B or Plan NYC,  it still sucked. A lot.

But what can you do? You never really get used to being Plan B, but initial recovery time shortens with every incident. And eventually "Plan Brooke" and "Plan B" won't be the same thing. It's all just a matter of time.

(I also had a really good picture to go with this, but it's on my parent's computer. Note to self--have a flash drive handy next time you sit down in front of Mom and Dad's computer.)

One More Reason to Survive the Rest of the Semester

 

found this image here.

"My Summer in the Village." Sounds like an adventure, doesn't it?

 Of course, it won't be all exploring little shops and taking pictures in the most beautiful city in the general vicinity of my hometown (in my humble opinion). There's gonna be two jobs to work and all that jazz. 

But still. The Village. It's not exactly Paris, but I'm excited.

Not all of us are Nancies, Sarahs, and Hillaries.

A new semester has begun, and I am totally excited about it. I'm finally at work on some political science classes! (That's my major, in case you didn't know.)

But something I noticed in my American Government class is a mostly guys. I don't know how that reflects for everyone studying poli sci, but my gut says that there aren't a whole lot of us ladies. But I totally get that. It's not interesting to a lot of people (sad day) and no one wants to draw the comparisons to Sarah Palin (dumb) or Hillary Clinton (soulless).

I think that my being a girl has a lot to do with how people react when I tell them my major. (Yes, a girl. The law says I'm a woman, but I still have a whole lot of growing up to do.) I've noticed that there are about six main reactions I get from people.

1. Fear -- Only seen in the eyes of weak men. "That sounds smart..."
2. Surprise-- People who don't know me well peg me as a music or English major."Oh, what made you want to choose that?"
3. Douchebaggery-- Jerks think that there is no way in this universe that I could snag the dream job--Governator.* "You know you're a woman, right?"
4. Camaraderie-- "Hey, me too! What's your emphasis?" (American Government)
5. Excitement -- The rarest. "I would totally vote for you!"
6. Some people are tactful enough to cover up what they're really thinking--probably #2 or #3.  Either that or they just don't care. "Oh, that's cool."

*It's very unlikely, but you don't just bash someone's dream job like that!
 

To end, I'm changing the subject to this amazing picture. My youngest brother Noah was baptized on Saturday by my oldest (but still younger) brother Dallin. How neat is that?

I'll Be Home for Christmas.

Los Angeles as seen from The Griffith Observatory

While I'm home, let's: 

1. Go to the beach!

2. Go to Disneyland!

3. Grab a Vanilla Crème at Starbucks!

4. See The Princess and the Frog!  

 

5. Get me street legal!

6. Have the Taylor Christmas Pageant at Bill and Carin's on Christmas Eve (as per tradition!)

7. Get some allergy medicine into me so that I can sleep in the same room as my beloved Minnie!

8. Have all the Morgans come down for Noah's baptism!

9. Shop at Target!

10. Not worry about school!

A Minor Setback

Before I can begin, I must apologize for the horrible pun in the title.

I can't pick a minor. I'd been planning on journalism at the beginning of this semester, broadcast a week ago, and now I really don't know.

But it's all good. I've got a good schedule for next semester that covers general ed foundations and my major requirements. (At least I'm sure about my major. I almost died of happiness when we talked about the Constitution and government in Book of Mormon class today.)

In other news, I'll be home in 4 days! Huzzah for Thanksgiving!

BREAKING NEWS: these are Candy Corn Kisses from Hershey's. They are perfect and they are making my day.

Summer Plans

June 16-June 20 - Girl's Camp! It's my last year and my mom gets to come!
June 21 - July 19 - We're having a German exchange student - my new "sister" Marleen!
July 25-July 26 - Dance Festival! Our dance is the hardest and longest in the whole show, but it's really coming together.
August 4-August 9 - Especially for Youth in Rexburg, Idaho with Rachel!

In between all of this, I'll continue my job at Baskin-Robbins and probably just hang out with friends - I have no summer assignments!

=DDDDDD

The year is over,and everything about this summer is EXCITING! Except for work.