It's Clearly A Muttation, Sent By the Capitol to Destroy Me.

It's around four in the morning. I can't sleep. I'm afraid to leave my room even though I'm thirsty. But I don't care. I just finished Mockingjay. I read the entire Hunger Games trilogy in under 72 hours. As much as I've heard others complain about it, I'm more than satisfied with how it ended. I feel accomplished.

But the real story here is why I'm terrified to leave. Not until morning, anyway.

There was a mosquito in my room. 

I can handle spiders and other creepy crawlies, but I hate hate HATE mosquitos.  It was huge, which means it's probably a mosquito-eater, and my mom says those are harmless. I still don't trust it. Can't. I'm wearing shorts tonight and have no desire to wear any additional clothing.

 My plan to get rid of it was brilliant--at least to me, and I've devoted the last three days to a stack of almost magnetic novels, ignoring most impulses to eat and sleep. I waited until the vile thing got away from the door. This took some time. I tried to will it back to hell with angry words, but that only drove it to the light switch. OhgoshIhadtotouchthat.

Soon it went to the ceiling and I made a dash for it, turning off the light behind me. The hall light went on, then the dining room, hoping that the darkness in my room and the light outside of it would draw the thing out. There was no sign of it in the hall, but a quick sweep of my room shows it wasn't there. I sat down in front of the computer and start to turn on a podcast--I'm a few days behind on the news. All of a sudden, the mosquito flew out from under the computer and into my face. I screamed and ran into the hall. My parents were angry when I told them that the noise had been because of a mosquito, but they were too tired to do anything but go back to bed.

Then I saw it. I got it into the hall. I ran back into my room and locked the door behind me. But if I leave, it  might come back in.

No, the books haven't made me distraught. Or paranoid. Not at all. I just need a back massage...okay, or maybe some sleep.

Oh no. There's something buzzing in here.

Lists and Letters

Things I Hate, but Have a Morbid Fascination With

1. Jersey Shore

2. Snow

3. Economics 

Dear Cadbury,
     I will be eternally grateful for your having created the Caramello. Keep up the good work.
                         Love, Brooke

Reasons I Think the Federal Government Hates Me.

1. I never got my birth certificate back when I got my passport.

2. The Social Security Office has my birthday wrong.

Dear Summertime,
      I love, miss, and desperately need you.
                              Love, Brooke

Awesome Things I Did This Week

1.  Read de Tocqueville

2. Learned John Lennon's middle name was Winston

3. Made beautiful and delicious cookies.

4. Listened to Adele almost nonstop.

I'm Pretty Sure This is What I Did Today.

2008-The only time I intentionally slept on the floor.

I got up early this morning to do homework before class. I do better work first thing in the morning. Then I managed to stay awake through all my classes. I got a few things taken care of in the afternoon before I woke up on the floor. I don't know how long I was out or even what happened, but I'm feeling okay now. It's just frustrating that I don't remember a lot of my afternoon. I hope this doesn't happen again, but I'm going to try not to be home alone for the next little bit.

In other news, I submitted this picture to Jones Soda today. I don't remember actually doing it, but I got an e-mail back from them saying it was a "staff pick" and that they'll send it to the judges. If the judges like it, they'll put it on a real live Jones Soda bottle. That would make me...very happy. Go here to vote on it, if you please!

Thank Goodness for the First Amendment.

Hey there, Federal Government.

Do you have a problem with my being born?

I think you do. I've had the same birthday for the past 18.5 years. It says so on my passport. It says so on the birth certificate that you never sent back to me when I got my passport.

What the heck kind of birthday do you think I have if I can't file my taxes with it?

You're lucky my political ambitions pretty much end in Sacramento.

Insert Musical Pun Here*

I hate feeling like a hipster. You know those kids.

"Hipsters are the friends who sneer when you cop to liking Coldplay. They're the people who wear t-shirts silk-screened with quotes from movies you've never heard of and the only ones in America who still think Pabst Blue Ribbon is a good beer. They sport cowboy hats and berets and think Kanye West stole their sunglasses. Everything about them is exactingly constructed to give off the vibe that they just don't care."

— Time, July 2009

They're the ones who say "I liked _________ before it was cool."

BUT. I still have to say that I LOVED a cappella music before it was cool. And I'm very excited about "The Sing Off." My aunt Chami recommended it to me. And the music is awesome. But just like other competition shows, they simply HAVE to tell the story to fill up screen time and capture the hearts of America. No. I hate it.  I don't care if you're older, I don't care if your wife had the swine flu, I don't even care if you go to BYU. (Did you SEE that girl's hair? It was awesome...if only I could get away with that in Rexburg.) Just sing to me. Please.

*I had a really good one, but I don't think it would go over very well with my readership (i.e., my mother, her friends, and my aunts and cousins)

To be perfectly honest,

I don't trust the snow.

It's glittery and cold and gorgeous. It's like melted refrozen Twilight vampire.

Ew.

I'm no conspiracy theorist, but something's up.